It is eight A.M. As I walk toward my building, I see a white Mercedes sitting at the curb. I enter the building, the door to my apartment is open. I step inside, see Leonard and Snapper standing in front of my refrigerator. The refrigerator door is open and there are brown paper bags on the floor.
Leonard.
They turn around.
My son, my son.
Leonard steps toward me.
How are you?
He hugs me.
I’m okay. What are you doing here?
Filling your fridge.
You came here to fill my fridge?
No, but when we arrived, we saw it was empty.
You gotta stop breaking in, Leonard.
Get a better lock and we’ll stop breaking in. The lock you got is a fucking joke.
Snapper speaks.
I’m the one who actually does it, Kid, and it’s real easy. You’re lucky you
ain’t been robbed.
Leonard laughs.
Look at this place. Who would rob him? He’s got nothing to steal.
I step toward the refrigerator.
What are you putting in there?
Snapper speaks.
We got shit from all five food groups.
Leonard speaks.
Fruits, vegetables, proteins, grains and dairys.
Snapper speaks.
We got them all.
I laugh.
It’s dairy, not dairys.
I know, but it’s funnier saying dairys. Say it.
Dairys.
I laugh.
Told ya. Dairys is funnier.
I laugh again.
Thank you. For all five food groups.
And that’s not all.
Leonard opens the cabinets. They’re filled with cans of soup, boxes of rice and boxes of pasta, jars of tomato sauce.
Snapper speaks.
I got something special for you in there.
He steps over, pulls down a box.
Rice-A-Roni. The motherfucking San Francisco treat.
I laugh.
Thanks.
Leonard speaks.
You’re still too skinny, my son. If you’re gonna be a doorman at a bar you’re gonna need to gain some weight. We drove by last night and saw you standing out there and you do not look particularly menacing.
You drove by to see me?
We did.
Why?
That’s why we’re here.
To talk to me about my job?
Yup.
What about my job?
Let’s go down to the hotel, get some breakfast. We’ll talk down there.
I need some sleep.
Then get some sleep, come down for lunch.
What time?
One?
Okay.
Leonard turns to Snapper.
You finished?
Yeah.
Let’s go. He needs some sleep.
Okay.
Leonard turns to me.
See you at one.
Snapper speaks.
See ya, Kid.
I speak.
Thanks for the food.
Leonard speaks.
Eat some of it. Right now. Get fat.
Snapper speaks.
Yeah, get fat.
I laugh.
Bye.
They walk out. I lie down, sleep, wake-up, take a shower. I am confident now I take the El train downtown, walk to the hotel from the train. I ride up the elevator, walk through the lobby, Leonard is waiting for me in the restaurant, I sit down with him.
Where’s Snapper?
He’s out working. You sleep well?
I never sleep well.
You will.
I guess.
You hungry?
Yeah.
Leonard motions for the waitress, orders steaks and French fries for each of us, turns back to me.
Now tell me, how the fuck you end up working at a bar?
I laugh.
Tell me how you know I work at a bar and I’ll tell you how I ended up there.
I had someone looking out for you. They told me.
Who?
Doesn’t matter.
You got some flunky following me around?
I’m just looking out for you.
I can look out for myself.
Why you working at a bar?
It was the only job I could get.
Come on, you’re a smart kid. You can do better than that.
I applied for a few different jobs, nobody wanted to hire me. I don’t exactly have a sparkling resume.
It’s unacceptable.
It’s fine, Leonard.
You’re an alcoholic and you’re a drug addict. You’ve only been clean a couple months. You can’t work at a bar. It’s crazy and stupid and dangerous.
I actually work in front of the bar. I stand there and pick my ass for hours on end. It might be stupid and it might be boring, but it’s not crazy or dangerous.
Until you feel like you want a drink and you go inside.
I feel like I want a drink all the fucking time. And if I decide I want one, it won’t be hard to get one, regardless of where I am.
It’s unacceptable, my son.
You got a better idea?
I do.
What’s that?
Come work for me.
I laugh.
Yeah, that’s a great idea.
Why not?
Because I’ve got a record, because I’m trying to stay out of trouble, because an arrest of any kind means I go away for three to five.
I got good lawyers, you won’t go anywhere.
I laugh.
That makes me feel better.
It should. You’ll have the power of an entire organization behind you.
I laugh again.
That’s what I’m afraid of, Leonard.